I loved her for the beautiful person she was, but I felt that I was missing out on so much
Before I met my current GF of just over 4 months, I was single for over three years. I am 21, she is 24. I was in one long term relationship with someone I wasn’t really attracted to, but I couldn’t rid myself of her because of my own selfish insecurities – we shared all the same friends, we always hung out together, and we had very similar lifestyles. Finally things were ended once and for all, very painfully and slowly. She was a big part of my life. She recovered quickly, and instantly met a guy who she proceeded to date for over a year – I remained single. I felt such guilt that I told myself that I did not deserve anyone and that I the next person I did find would cheat on me or something and that was something I accepted.
After hanging out for a couple weeks and continuing with our casual sex, she asked me out
Three angry, lonely years passed. Many opportunities to meet and connect with great people had surfaced, but I never took them up and was always regretful afterwards. I always found ways to sabotage them, and then proceeded to kick myself. This was during what statistically was supposed to be my sexual peak, and I was constantly being bugged by friends, my ex, and even strangers that caught wind of my situation and would say things along the lines of ‘WTF is wrong with you – you are an attractive, nice guy – that long. ‘
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